Dear reader, as promised here is the third in a series of four writings on psychology, as you will see this is going to be one of the more complex writings so brace yourself and prepare to learn a thing or two. Where does one start on this subject, we all have different opinions about this very complex and not very popular topic, actually not at all popular subject, Dr. Victor Carrion said it the best “We all carry backpacks, some bigger some smaller, but we all do” backpack here being a metaphor for Trauma, some of us know of the backpack but most don’t know and go through the life wondering what is happening and why am I having such a hard time, well-hidden, suppressed or forgotten life events never go away, they are just waiting around the corner to hit us on the head like a 20 lbs. hammer and believe me they have the power to do more damage than the hammer, sometimes they lead us into addiction, divorce, loneliness and not rarely suicide. According to Conti “By trauma, I’m referring to the type of emotional or physical pain that often goes unseen, yet actually changes our brain biology and psychology. And although humans tend to be pretty resilient, many suffer from these traumatic changes in more ways and for longer than we imagine” (Conti, 2021, p. 9) So as we can see here the pain is not just physical but also emotional and the two together are a real though combination, so anyone that is going through something like this please be careful how you react to them, they are going over some complex biological and emotional turmoil. They themselves might not even know it, they are out of character (not being themselves and doing stuff that is out of character) realistically if you see someone doing just that ask yourself what is going on, is this person ok, and does he-she need me to talk to him-her, active listening is a curative form of interaction, so listen more (attentively) advise sparingly if you don’t know enough on the subject.
Dear reader. In this installment, I delve into a very complex issue that many people unfortunately face, often without even realizing it—Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I aim to publish this piece around February 10, which marks the 30th anniversary of the day I was shot, a traumatic event that has led me to live with this challenging yet not-so-rare disorder for quite some time.
Through this writing, I hope to spark reflection on the fundamental questions that underpin all of psychology: “Why, When, and What” — Why is this person the way they are, when did their struggles begin, and what led them to act or react in certain ways? Additionally, I hope you take to heart one of psychology’s most essential principles: to actively listen. Don’t just be present like a piece of furniture— listen attentively, engage, participate, and refrain from judgment. Let people know you are truly there for them. If we all start practicing this, the world can indeed become a better place.
We all need to develop a toolbox that will be special for us and in this toolbox we would have different tools to deal with our trauma, the tools are not tools in a literal sense, but metaphoric and they can be in the form of reading, playing guitar, drinking coffee with friends ( and yes drinking coffee-tea with friends has a high therapeutic effect) it can also be in the form of meditation, mindfulness breathing, yoga ( and by the way I know a real good yoga instructor so if you need one let me know @yoga_andjela) taking a walk or running, exercising, most importantly you have to try different one and see what works for you, this toolbox is highly personal, so each person has to have a his-her toolbox, my toolbox will not work for you and your toolbox won’t work for me.
Let’s look at what trauma could be like and what it is using an example, as you already know I like to use myself as an example, so it started early for me as it did for most of my friends and relatives, first day at first class, what do you think the first question to me was? Well, it was “ Are you catholic or Albanian” and not from just kids but from teachers also, they went out of their way to make us feel inferior, unwanted or that there was something wrong with us, and we did trust me, the abuse was not just in the form of emotional abuse but in the form of physical also, we were beaten a lot more then the children that were of the right religion (the religion being Muslim) it didn’t matter if we did something wrong or not we got the beating anyway, in my case this made me stronger, but I can’t say the same for some other kids.
My trauma didn’t start there, when I was about 6 I went with my brother Danny to the mountains to get the sheep and cows ( Yes I was a shepherd, and proud of it) Danny went to get the cows in some other area, I was going to get the sheep and while walking up the mountain ( yes I once walked) I can see this big black-brown thing running towards me, and I thought it’s a big dog, to my surprise when I reached for a big rock to throw it at it, it got back in its hind legs and this is when the clear picture of death came to my mind, facing a bear in the mountain and being eaten, well I didn’t get eaten, I assume that we scared each other half to death, it spun around and ran for its life, and I being the tough guy that I am, yea right!! I spun and ran the other way, and if Bolt were next to me I would have sure as hell beat him. Was I traumatized I asked myself quite often, and I still do, to make the case even more interesting at about the same age 6-7, I was put in another situation, as I said before we were all peasants and had cows, sheep and some had even goats, so my neighbor had 2 cows, we were well aware that they shouldn’t graze clover, cause it can be fatal to them, it so happened that one of the cows ate some of it and was going to die, it came down to killing it so the meat can at least be used, so there was a whole bunch of people there and the knife was brought out so somebody would have to kill it, as most of us know we all grew fond of our animals, so the knife was passed on for few minutes and the longer we waited the worst situation was getting, so the knife was passed to me, and I did the horrible deed, so I been carrying that for years, that didn’t stop there, me being put in this kinds of situations kept on happening, the next big one was when I was 22, I was working at my print shop in the Bronx and one evening 3 guys walked in and attempted to rob me, me being a tough guy and all, and also being a martial arts dude for a long time and having the Balkan mentality, I got into a fight with them, against all odds, me against 3 armed people, how stupid can one man be, well I am lucky to be alive, I ended up in a wheelchair with multiple health problems for life, this February it will be 30 years, so do I suffer from PTSD or CPTSD or some other disorder, probably.
But my dear reader heed my words, if someone has a gun or knife or whatever, give them what they are asking, it’s not worth it trust me.
Just the other day here in my small country a man killed 12 people and wounded several, reading social media I can’t help noticing that everyone is pointing the blame toward the person, I don’t blame them, but I ask myself what drove this person to turn a gun towards so many people two of which were children, another question that I have is how come no one seen that there is something wrong with this person, there are always signs that a person is in the border of losing it unless he-she is faking it, this particular incident is rather confusing, let us get one thing straight first, I am in no way taking sides, nor is that in my character, I am just looking at it empirically, the person killed 12 people, and wounded 4 in five different places and then killed himself, the information is not validated so we are just making assumptions, hope that one day we all have a clear picture of what really happened here, and by doing that let’s hope that this never happens to no one nowhere. Now we have to hope that families of the killed and wounded get the psychological help that they will surely need and I hope that people start listening a little more and letting people who are down or doing badly know that they can always talk to us, that we will not judge them I would emphasize this again “I hear you, I understand you, I respect you, and… I accept you.” (Stanulović-Kapor, 2021). I will again post something from my last blog about loss,” Loss can take many forms, and everyone copes with it in their own way. Here’s a good definition of loss: “The death of a loved one is one of life’s most difficult experiences. We live in a time where the reality of death is denied and suppressed, and we lack sufficient knowledge about the grieving process and providing support to the grieving. As a result, we often don’t know how to deal with losses—whether our own or others. People face different kinds of losses throughout their lives, and sometimes even the most painful one, the loss of a child.” (Jakšić, 2014) As we can see from the above text according to the writer the most painful loss is the loss of a child, as I am writing this I cannot understand, nor grasp how can someone turn a weapon toward a child, what kind of hate must one have to do that, what has become of humanity that we do such evil stuff to one another, how can anyone rationalize that, what do you tell yourself when you do that.
“According to most experts in this field, trauma hijacks our limbic system, twists our memories, and changes our brains. We feel, think, decide, and act in ways we never would have before. We become different people, often without being able to track the differences.” ( Conti, 2021)
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition triggered by experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event. This disorder is characterized by intrusive memories, avoidance behaviors, negative changes in thinking and mood, and alterations in physical and emotional reactions. PTSD can affect anyone who has been exposed to trauma, such as combat veterans, survivors of physical or sexual assault, natural disaster victims, and those who have experienced severe accidents…
The symptoms of PTSD are typically grouped into four categories. Intrusive memories include flashbacks, nightmares, and distressing thoughts about the traumatic event. Avoidance involves steering clear of places, people, or activities that may remind the individual of the trauma. Negative changes in thinking and mood may manifest as feelings of hopelessness, detachment from others, and difficulty experiencing positive emotions. Finally, alterations in arousal and reactivity may include being easily startled, having trouble sleeping or experiencing angry outbursts.
One key aspect of PTSD is that it does not always emerge immediately after the traumatic event. In some cases, symptoms may not appear until months or even years later, making diagnosis and treatment more complex. Early diagnosis and intervention are crucial, as untreated PTSD can lead to significant disruptions in a person’s personal, social, and professional life.
Effective treatment for PTSD often involves a combination of psychotherapy and medication. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), particularly trauma-focused CBT, is one of the most widely used therapeutic approaches. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is another therapy that has shown effectiveness in reducing PTSD symptoms. Medications such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are often prescribed to help manage symptoms like anxiety and depression.
[Serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are a class of medications that increase serotonin levels in the brain by blocking its reabsorption (reuptake) into neurons. They are commonly used to treat depression, anxiety, and other mood disorders. Examples of these are;
Fluoxetine (Prozac)
Sertraline (Zoloft)
Escitalopram (Lexapro)
Citalopram (Celexa)
Paroxetine (Paxil)
Fluvoxamine (Luvox)
Vilazodone (Viibryd)]
In recent years, awareness of PTSD has grown, leading to better resources and support systems for individuals affected by this condition. Public campaigns and educational programs aim to reduce stigma and encourage those experiencing symptoms to seek help.
A closely related condition is Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), which often arises from prolonged or repeated trauma, such as ongoing abuse, captivity, or human trafficking. While it shares many symptoms with PTSD, C-PTSD also includes difficulties in regulating emotions, persistent feelings of worthlessness, and challenges in forming healthy relationships. Individuals with C-PTSD may experience profound changes in their sense of self and a heightened sense of shame or guilt. Addressing C-PTSD typically requires specialized therapeutic approaches that focus on rebuilding self-worth, fostering resilience, and developing healthy coping mechanisms. (Martin Seligman, a psychologist known for his work on positive psychology, views resilience as the ability to bounce back from adversity and grow stronger from challenges. His research, particularly in the context of learned optimism and positive psychology, suggests that resilience is not just about enduring hardship but also about using adversity as an opportunity for personal growth.)
PTSD and C-PTSD not only impact individuals but also their families and communities. It is essential to create a supportive environment that fosters understanding and encourages recovery. Raising awareness and promoting accessible treatment options are vital steps toward mitigating the effects of these conditions on society. Let us strive to listen more, judge less, and support one another in healing from trauma.
What is the lesson that I will sum this writing with, I have probably been suffering from some form of PTSD all my life, but I have built up my resilience and with it, my well-being, and that will hopefully be my next blog so my dear reader, I am sending you all a warm hug, be strong, smile a lot and know that someone is out there thinking of you.